This is me going to be explaining everything that happened to me in detail about the subject mentioned above. It’s just me ranting and letting it all out so just ignore this you don’t have to read it. But If you wanna help hear me out. Warning it may get p graphic.
Ok so. My rapist is a family member of mine. A sibling. He’s been making me do sexual acts since I was 5 (+ some other people.). At first he was just molesting me. Then he started raping me. He did it with himself then painful objects around the house. Hell he did it in front of my parents and they never noticed. He forced me to suck him off and other disgusting things like that. It was happening for years. As I grew up I started to be able to defend myself, but he didn’t stop trying. Trying to manipulate me and touch me in any way he could.
I was so disgusted and ashamed. I never wanted to tell anyone about it. My parents found out this year. Because a psychiatrist manipulated me to tell her about it and since I was 17 (it didn’t matter I’d be an adult in 2 months to her) she reported it to the police. She wrote them 1 single sentence and put me in danger. The police just came to our front door and gave them a piece of paper requesting my presence with my mom. With that one sentence abt it. He could’ve hurt me. What if my parents weren’t home? What if they didn’t believe me? I had to explain to them suddenly all the horrible things that have been happening to me when I’ve never properly talked about it to anyone. Can you imagine how scary and uncomfortable and how horrible that situation was for me?
Of course that thing denied everything and we went to the police. They did nothing. Then social services got involved. They did nothing. Okay. My mom and other family members say they’ll figure it out. I’m still stuck here. My parent’s won’t kick him out and expect me to keep living here and be patient because he’s “their son.”. They even said if it was anyone else they’d kill him. Like. Thanks. And now I’m here still. Stuck in this god damn house. With that god damn thing right next door. The walls are thin too so I can actually hear his disgusting voice right now laughing and talking to his friends. While I here suffer and cry and deal with all the shit I had to and still have to go through. I’m tired. I wish I didn’t want to live so badly so I could just end it all. I can’t do that though. I want to live. I want to be happy and comfortable and safe.
This isn’t the whole story but the basic important things are here. Nobody can help me. Except you. If you have just 3 dollars to spare you can buy me 1 ko-fi. ( https://www.ko-fi.com/cutiepatoodieart ). How it works is you buy me a ko-fi which is 3 dollars (you can buy more if you want) and I get those 3 dollars. If all of my followers gave me just 1 dollar I’d be able to move out and live well. So I’m begging you again to help me. Because I just can’t do it anymore. But I realize this is a lot to ask and you don’t have any obligation to do so. But if you are in a position to help someone please do. There are so many other people who need help. Give to charities,help people you know,etc. Just please be kind. I wish I didn’t have to ask for money like this. I’d rather work for it but I’m not able to right now because of my disability and illnesses. I don’t know if anyone even read this but if you did thank you for listening to me. I never talked about it like this. I just have to let it all out and sadly ask for help because my own family doesn’t want to even though they easily can.
I think we all know why this isn’t taught universally.
I took a self defense course in college and they taught us this, and when I told it to my then-boyfriend, he laughed and said it was too extreme. That should’ve been my first red flag tbh
the fact that she doesn’t say “so he won’t do it” she says “when you’re in court” is terrifying
Everyone needs to understand whats going on in Brazil right now
As you might know, the presidential election is happening here. But you don’t understand how serious and dangereous these times are. Theres very high chances that a man named Bolsonaro will win. He is openly FASCIST, and has said that he supports another dictatorship happening.
He is openly anti-lgbt, has said many violent things about gays, including that if parents BEAT their children, they could be “cured from homosexuality”.
He is openly racist, has said that their sons will never date a black woman because their were “raised correctly”, and many other things.
He is openly misogynistic, in an argument with a congresswoman, he said that he wouldn’t RAPE her because she did not DESERVE it.
All of these things were filmed. He has said many other dispicable things. His followers are violent: the election is not even over yet but many groups of his supporters are already harrasing minorities on the streets.
As a lesbian woman, i am scared. I am scared for my life. I am scared for my lgbt friends. I am scared for all of the minorities in Brazil, and all people who are going to die. LGBTs are already killed daily. Black people are killed daily. Women are beaten and raped. These are dark times, and we need support.
to my fellow freshman girlies out there, go parties in groups, don’t walk alone late at night, and if you sense some shady shit going on don’t hesitate to interfere. trust your gut. people are getting sicker by the minute and nothing seems to be changing anytime soon.
PS: CHECK YOUR LOCAL LAWS REGARDING WEAPON PURCHASING
I’m not lying fuck men omfg
as a former RA, who has seen way too much of this shit, it is important to highlight that most of these assaults will not be someone grabbing you from behind a bush or something – a lot of the weapons used against you will be social convention and alcohol/drugs.
it will be at parties. surrounded by people, where you lose sight of a friend and you’re surrounded. it will be guys “making sure to bring you home” while you’re drunk. it’ll be “come on over and let’s watch a movie”, it’ll be so many insidious things.
please always push back from any pressure or challenge to your boundaries. GET LOUD. your physical and mental health is SO much more important than how “cool” you seem. make a fuss, and it might make things awkward, but it’ll be so much better than the alternative. i’ve had so many of my residents come back for the night, so regretful about staying silent while a guy felt her up because she didn’t want to rock the boat or “ruin the mood” of the party. DO IT.
keep a friend, a trusted friend, preferably a girl, and use the goddamn buddy system.do not let your buddy out of sight. keep together at all times, and not just at parties – even at casual outings. new roommate? talk to them about how you want to stick together and make sure nothing happens.
do not go anywhere alone for the first month (this is also just a good practice to meet new people and find new friends lol). go to campus-run events, which are usually more tame and supervised (and still fun!).
know the red flags, and always be cautious of going alone with any man – ESPECIALLY if they’re older. that includes going to parties, movies, even out to lunch.
i don’t want to scare people at all, i really want you to be safe. know that there are campus resources if things do happen, but when it comes down to it, CALL THE POLICE. campus police and counselors can help you deal with trauma and change your classes so you’re away from your assailant, but they’re ultimately working for the university that doesn’t want to report assaults. grab a friend to stay with you to support you – hell, if you live in a residence hall, most RAs have been trained with crisis counseling and will stick with you to the end, and CALL THE POLICE.
pepper spray is a good start, but half the battle is knowing the warning signs and sticking together, and never being afraid to fight back.
life is not a song 