Hi please help me to not live with my rapist I’m going to break.

cutiepatoodieart:

This is me going to be explaining everything that happened to me in detail about the subject mentioned above. It’s just me ranting and letting it all out so just ignore this you don’t have to read it. But If you wanna help hear me out. Warning it may get p graphic.

Ok so. My rapist is a family member of mine. A sibling. He’s been making me do sexual acts since I was 5 (+ some other people.). At first he was just molesting me. Then he started raping me. He did it with himself then painful objects around the house. Hell he did it in front of my parents and they never noticed. He forced me to suck him off and other disgusting things like that. It was happening for years. As I grew up I started to be able to defend myself, but he didn’t stop trying. Trying to manipulate me and touch me in any way he could.

I was so disgusted and ashamed. I never wanted to tell anyone about it. My parents found out this year. Because a psychiatrist manipulated me to tell her about it and since I was 17 (it didn’t matter I’d be an adult in 2 months to her) she reported it to the police. She wrote them 1 single sentence and put me in danger. The police just came to our front door and gave them a piece of paper requesting my presence with my mom. With that one sentence abt it. He could’ve hurt me. What if my parents weren’t home? What if they didn’t believe me? I had to explain to them suddenly all the horrible things that have been happening to me when I’ve never properly talked about it to anyone. Can you imagine how scary and uncomfortable and how horrible that situation was for me?

Of course that thing denied everything and we went to the police. They did nothing. Then social services got involved. They did nothing. Okay.
My mom and other family members say they’ll figure it out. I’m still stuck here.
My parent’s won’t kick him out and expect me to keep living here and be patient because he’s “their son.”. They even said if it was anyone else they’d kill him. Like. Thanks.
And now I’m here still. Stuck in this god damn house. With that god damn thing right next door. The walls are thin too so I can actually hear his disgusting voice right now laughing and talking to his friends. While I here suffer and cry and deal with all the shit I had to and still have to go through.
I’m tired. I wish I didn’t want to live so badly so I could just end it all. I can’t do that though. I want to live. I want to be happy and comfortable and safe.

This isn’t the whole story but the basic important things are here. Nobody can help me. Except you. If you have just 3 dollars to spare you can buy me 1 ko-fi. ( https://www.ko-fi.com/cutiepatoodieart ). How it works is you buy me a ko-fi which is 3 dollars (you can buy more if you want) and I get those 3 dollars. If all of my followers gave me just 1 dollar I’d be able to move out and live well. So I’m begging you again to help me. Because I just can’t do it anymore. But I realize this is a lot to ask and you don’t have any obligation to do so. But if you are in a position to help someone please do. There are so many other people who need help. Give to charities,help people you know,etc. Just please be kind. I wish I didn’t have to ask for money like this. I’d rather work for it but I’m not able to right now because of my disability and illnesses.
I don’t know if anyone even read this but if you did thank you for listening to me. I never talked about it like this. I just have to let it all out and sadly ask for help because my own family doesn’t want to even though they easily can.